“We do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”
December 14, 2016
‘Chase Worthee 2016 Heisman Trophy Winner from Chicago’
On Saturday outstanding college quarterback Chase Worthee was awarded
the Heisman Memorial Trophy as the most outstanding college football player
in the United States.
“Chase, I’m so proud of you son…now that you’ve won the Heisman Trophy it’s very likely you’ll go first in the draft; you pretty much will have your pick of any NFL… I would hope you consider
the South Carolina Panthers… they need a big time Q-back and you would be a perfect fit for their
run and shoot offense.”
“I think I want to go out to the west coast…I can see myself as an Oakland Raider; now, they have perfected the run and shoot better than any team in the league.
I think I’d like to play for them if the money is right.”
“Tell me, what is the first thing you plan to purchase once you sigh that big fat contract?”
“I want to get myself a nice boat.”
“So, how are you and Penny getting along?”
“Penny strikes me as the perfect girl for you.
I thought you guys made a great couple; you guys were engaged to be married…
I don’t understand.
I really thought Penny was the one.”
” Penny is a great actress; she should move out to Hollywood and pursue a career out there.
The girl can act better than Nicole Kidman.”
“Chase, if you don’t mind my asking; what do you mean son… did she lie to you about something?”
“Penny projects the good girl image to the world but underneath her mask the girl is unscrupulous and a deceitful bitch!”
“Really! How so?”
“Penny is not all she pretends to be.”
“What did she do to make you feel this way son?”
“Dad, I really want to stop talking about Penny… the girl disgust me to no end.”
What in the world did this girl do?”
“Dad, please, I don’t want to discuss her anymore.”
“Chase, I need to know what the girl did; maybe this thing can be fixed… is what she did so bad?”
“When Penny and I first began dating I tried to be a good guy and I never rushed her into having sex because I respected her so for a good while we did not have sex; in fact, we never had sex.
See, Penny told me she was a virgin, she told me she wanted to save herself for the man that would be her husband. Hearing this I felt she indeed was the one woman I could get with.
Well last month, Penny and I went to Disney World together and Penny and I were drinking beer and smoking blunts and so, we decided to have sex for the first time.
Penny went in the bathroom to take a shower…
and, when she came out,
Yeah, when she, when she came out of the shower, she was wrapped in a towel.
I pulled the towel off her and there she stood in front of me buck naked and I could not believe my eyes.
Even now, it just seem’s like a horrible nightmare,it was just so unreal.”
“Son, for heaven’s sake what did you see…was Penny transgender?”
“No pop! Nothing like that!”
“Well, what startled you so?”
“It was the tattoo on her breast.”
“She had a tattoo on her breast?
“ON-HER- BREAST! It was terrible… just disgusting!”
” What was the tattoo about?”
“Really… who was this man?
What did the tattoo say?”
“The tattoo said…”
“What did it say Chase?”
” I’m Jessie’s girl.”
“So Penny was not a virgin after all.
Well Chase, I guess your mother will not be inviting Penny to any more Christmas parties.”
The Heisman Memorial Trophy is awarded annually to the most outstanding player in college football in America. You can watch the award on TV, Saturday, December 12, 2016 at 8:00 p.m. on ESPN Channel.