“When the sins of our fathers visit us we do not have to lay host.
We can banish them with forgiveness as God, in His Largeness and Laws.”
My father was a gentle kind man and yet like in the great tragic play, Othello father because of his great passionate love for mother could do the unimaginable, even kill someone or even a few by his wicked love for mother.
My father’s story is a fascinating story that would make any Hollywood drama pale in scale to the horror I’m about to share with you. It was a beautiful summer’s day in June and the last day of school for me; I decided I would skip school early and go home and I did just that.
I thought I would have the apartment all to myself as my mother would be at work until five P.M. and father he was a long distance truck driver and was not expected to be home until late Saturday. It was early Friday at about 11:00 A.M. when I noticed daddy was sitting in his car weeping. I stood there taken aback, wondering why my daddy was sitting in his car sobbing so. Fear soon swept over me, I thought something terrible had happened to mother.
I dare not approach my father, so I quickly ran to the front door and to my surprise the front door of our first floor apartment was ajar. I walked into the apartment and soon realized I was not the only one inside for I heard my mother in the bedroom with a man having sex.
I, can’t express the utter shock that went through me, a twelve-year old girl first realizing her mother’s transgression not only to father, but to me. I could hear my mother moaning and then the bed which she and father shared was rattling and every few seconds I heard a man grunting like some kind of animal.
I fell back to the wall and I slunk slowly to the floor, it was all like a horrible dream.
My mother, married to my father, a good man, a loving husband and good daddy and this is how she betrays him.
I thought about daddy sitting out in the car sobbing; is this the reason?
Did my daddy come into the apartment and hear mother being fucked by this strange man?
Was this nightmare too much for my father to bear? Did he walk back out to the car destroyed beyond salvation and repair?
My world was totally flipped upside down upon learning, no, not just learning, but hearing my mother actually being screwed in our home by some strange man that I hoped to never meet. I lay on the floor unable to move.
I closed my eyes and I wished this moment in time was nothing more than a very horrible nightmare that I would soon wake from. I opened my eyes and my fist were balled tight and tears were rolling down my neck; I was seething in hot searing anger at mother.
How could she!
How could she do something so disgusting and so stupid to me and father?
I thought about the good times, the vacations at Disney World and all the Christmas parties we held at our apartment.
Now this was to be no more depending on what father’s response will be to the situation.
Just at that moment my father burst into the apartment with a big gun in his hand.
I heard my mother scream.
Aloud thud hit the floor.
I heard three gun shots ring out and my ears felt stuffed with cotton.
My mother pleaded with my father not to kill her.
I heard a struggle and it sounded like my mother was grasping for breathe.
Then there was quiet save for a Savannah Sparrow chirping outside.
My head began to spin and I grew hot all over my body and then I saw a white flash of light and then I felt myself falling as if from a skyscraper and soon I blanked out.
When I awoke several hours later I realized I was in the hospital and I had tubes in my nose which was providing me oxygen. My father was there at my bedside. I saw my father take in a deep sigh then exhale.
I was confused because I knew my father had killed a man and still I was unsure about what happened to mother.
When I was finally released from the hospital father told me his story of how mother was the victim of a rapist who broke into our apartment and then after the rape he killed mother. This lie father told was broadcast all over the local TV news stations.
We had mother’s funeral and I was confused for many years afterwards because I knew the real story of what happened.
The day before my father died I was with him, I went to see him in the hospital and I asked him to tell me what happened that day I saw him sobbing outside our apartment.
My father could not look at me as he told me what happened.
“I loved your mother; the sun rose and set with her.
Never in my wildest imagination would I, could I ever believe she could do something so foul to me.
I killed the man with your mother and then, I, I, strangled your mother.
I killed her with my hands.
I killed them both.
I walked back where you were and you had passed out.
I called your uncle Jamal and had him remove the man’s body.
I cleaned up all the blood and then I had your aunt Grace to come over and call 911 from our apartment.
When the police arrived they assumed that the crime was a rapist killer who escaped.
I killed them both.
Jasmine, you know , I love you… do you think I’m gonna go to hell?”
The nurse came in and then I just ran out the room leaving father alone to die.
A week later the funeral director who handled my father cremation called and asked me what should he do with my father’s ashes.
I told him to hold them and I just hung up the phone.